Birth

I’ve had to rest a lot during this pregnancy, so the goals I set out at the beginning have taken a back seat; but I’m slowly climbing out of the nausea pit. I’ve written other things. I may begin a new blog just for my creative pursuits. So here is my poem. What do you think?

Do you ever get tired of the same story?

The one that keeps playing in your head

The one that keeps you up at night

The one that can’t help you think of others instead.

Stop that story.

Write a new one.

Get inspired on the fly.

Enchanted lands with their creatures.

There is one nearby.

Let the story tell itself.

You’ll know you’re listening

Because you don’t know what’s next.

Be the hearer and the benefactor of the lesson told in its strength.

Everyone has a story.

Tell yours and listen to hers because

after all it’s the heart that gets nourished

When souls understand each other’s birth.

Adjusting goals

I’m about 6-7 weeks pregnant. I’ve had so much nausea, eating has been hard. I hope to lift soon. I am currently doing a boot camp twice a week. I lost more weight than I needed the week the nausea started but my goal right now is to keep eating. I feel like that is all I do even if it’s a little at a time. At the moment I’m adjusting. Each week gets a little better. I hope to bring you more encouragement in the coming weeks. Hang in there if you’re pushing at your goals. You will achieve them. And if you feel giving up, don’t. You’re jellybean will thank you for it. My jellybean is the little life growing inside of me. If you don’t have a jellybean, keep in mind there are those you inspire. Be that inspiration. Keep breathing. Life needs you to do this.

Reaching Goals: When it gets real

Week 5 Day 4 Take it easy Tiger!

Yesterday was hard, last week was hard, everything was hard! But today I may have had a second wind. I’m not sure if that applies to weight lifting, but I felt more refreshed. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Hmmm. Is that strength?

Maybe the weight is getting a little lighter? I don’t know. I started off feeling like “oh no, why am I doing this again” but then i felt it and my trainer said: wait one more rest minute. I was ready for more. I also ran yesterday. I also rested more.

So today: 145 lbs on the squats. I don’t own a scale but I’m pretty sure I still weigh less than that.

No Easy Answer

I live in America. I think you know what that means right now. Civil unrest. Some of us care more about somethings than others. I think that’s fine especially if you like to run over swimming or something like that; but this week’s topic isn’t that easy. 

Race in America. Some want to forget it. Some want to talk about it all the time. Some will wear a white cape over their head and say the n word without flinching and others only have one black friend that I still haven’t met. 
No one owns slaves here on our land. We own things now. We have things. (How we have them is another story.) So what are we fighting about? Some want the good ol’ days back because in the good old days there was Jim Crow and before that there were slaves. Those days. 

Those days were good only for some. So why are we fighting? 
People died this week. All of them innocent. 

Should a movement that protects the rights of the innocent cease it’s cry? Should we assume that it’s cry is causing all the wrongs in our society. Should we stop finding a cure? I don’t think cancer research stopped it’s movement because people kept dying. “Oh well, they’re going to die anyway. ”

What do you think? Give up? Go to sleep? The struggle is so real. Lots of perspectives over one story. One story we wish would end. 

I’m sure people in the 60’s wanted it to end. It came with a struggle. It came at a price. How will we see this in the next 10 or 20 years? Will we still be arguing the same thing? There is no easy answer. 
I pray for every person of every color. I hope these stories aren’t forgotten. Neither life taken is in vain. I don’t mention one type of life over the other because neither person is worth more than the other. That seems to be part of the discussion. I can’t figure out which to name first because I feel offense is taken both ways. 

I call it a discussion because I believe our feelings are real. We all have feelings. God sees our feelings. He sees our hurt. He knows. He has no favorites. He knows when we are misunderstood. He knows when we misunderstand. He knows when we cooperate and when we don’t. He knows He can forgive and we have a terrible time obeying. I know it’s hard for me. But as every tear falls from all involved He catches them all. He knows the injustice on all sides and all the things we can’t explain without being misunderstood. 

Let God hold you now because people can not at times. We are all in this together. Neither one of us above the law nor despised. I believe that. Justice is for everyone not just for some. Sometimes we look in the mirror and remember and sometimes we forget. I hope this is a time for everyone to allow love to make the transformation that we desperately need. Things can not stay the same. 
Overcome together and love. 

Thankfulness Unveils Love

I wrote this on the blog I began a couple of weeks ago. So here it is.

Thankfulness is a fuel. It lifts me closer to heaven and it helps me work from a place of rest. Whenever I focus on what needs to be done I can only see shortcomings and negative space; but when I see my blessings I see everything from a higher perspective. That perspective doesn’t come from me but from my God. I see the giver and cease to think about myself. It’s so easy to think about what I am missing and what I think I need. He has blessed me with so much. I have family and health. If I freely go to His throne room I see Him as He is and as I am. I don’t need to be afraid; and I can come as I am. I am broken but healed in Christ’s redemptive work on the cross. 

I love that my identity is in Him and nothing else. I write this so that you could be encouraged too. There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God. It seems as if love is gone, but it really hasn’t gone anywhere. I just need to access it. 

Deceit comes in the middle of adversity. It pushes me to look at the negative spectrum. None of the following is new to humankind. The list I’ve collected from experience is suffering, human error, distance, feelings of unworthiness, self-righteousness, shame, pain, lack of clarity, sickness, numbness, weakness, strength, and pride. These are all feelings about the self and also the side effects of a life without thankfulness. The list could go on and could be different, but none of those can separate us. 

Right in the middle of Thankfulness, I am reminded of His ability to see beyond my vision. He sees and knows everything and as a loving father who watches his child fall, He picks us right up, dusts us off, pats our little diaper and encourages us to keep going. 

#faith #fuel #keepgoing